Experiencing the impossible

When it happens, the impossible, we sit there shocked. Stunned, knowing the world will never be the same.

1969 - man walks on the moon
2004 - Red Sox win the World Series
2008 - Obama is elected President

But those pale... to December 2, 2008 when Grant pulled the hair cutting kit down from the top shelf in the closet, pulled a chair out from the table, put the plastic covering over his shoulders, and then ASKED FOR A HAIRCUT!

For years, giving Grant a haircut was pure torture, for everybody. The past 2 years, it's gotten better, but it has still always been a challenge to get him in the chair, to stay in the chair - UGH, it's just a huge struggle.

So for him to ask for a haircut, well, we have simply experienced the impossible. And just as with the other impossible things which our generation has experienced where life goes on the next day but 'different', so goes our lives here at home. That painful part of our history is gone, done, kaput. A bright future lies ahead!!

Oh me of little faith

"I can't wait till Grant's 11th birthday", Owen told Staci while on the way to pick Grant up from school.

Staci pondered where he was going with that statement, wondering if he just forgot how old Grant was, or... "11th birthday?"

"Yeah, his 11th birthday is going to be so great. He's going to start talking on his 11th birthday. That's what I prayed to God and Jesus for. I want Grant to be able to talk just like us. He's going to talk like us on his 11th birthday."

And just like that, Owen let us know just how aware he is of Grant's autism and how much he loves his brother. And just like that, he reminded us to remember our dreams - don't give up Mommy and Daddy!

Back and forth

Even during this hard time after learning about my brother's passing, the lights in my life become ever so much brighter and clearer.

Tonight, while over at my in-laws for dinner, Grant brought me out to the swing set, as he often does. As I've written before, he LOVES to swing. The two of us have spent hundreds of hours with me pushing him on the swing and over the past 6+ years I have been trying to teach him how to swing himself. Legs out, Legs in. Back and forth. Watch me do it. Watch Cassidy do it. My hand on his leg, showing him how. In all that time, I never saw one time where he even began to do it on his own. He loves to swing, and he loves to have me push him. I think it's just been that simple.

But tonight - that changed. The crazy thing is, I'm crying as I write this and I wasn't during my previous post about my brother. Tonight, Grant brought me out to the swing. He sat down, pushed back with his feet and swung forward. At the apex of the swing, he swung his legs back and started to gain momentum. As he swung forward, he stretched his legs straight out and began swinging, back and forth, back and forth, all on his own. I stood there and cheered him on, my mouth gaping open. He continued, smiling and enjoying himself as if he's done this every day of his life.

On this day when I ponder how my brother could end his own future, I marvel at my son's growth and the great joy he will continue to bring into ours own future.

Humming a tune

So much has happened since my last post, I couldn't begin to summarize it. So, I won't :)

Last night, I heard Grant hum for the first time. A real tune, in his humming voice. While we were watching Toy Story before bed, he started humming to the early part of the Toy Story music. It took me a few minutes to realize that he was actually humming along to the notes because it caught me so completely by surprise. As he went along, I start catching the tune, and he ended perfectly on the very last note. Wow!

Today in the car, Staci heard him humming something else. Music has, for so long, been either a terror, a confusion, or an annoyance to him. To hear him reach out and embrace it on his own is simply unbelievable.

big bites

I've been really quiet here, and I don't really have one good reason for it. We started a new biomed program for Grant about 6 weeks ago, given that's how this blog started, you'd think I'd be sharing the experience. Grant has been doing fantastically well on his bike, given how much I've written about that, you'd think I'd be sharing the experience. Grant has been talking more, and has been communicating well at school with his Alphasmart, again you'd think I'd be sharing the experience. Why? I suppose it's just been a private time for some reason. I sit down to write and nothing comes out. I've also been a bit autismed-out; I haven't been keeping up on the news and I haven't been keeping up with peoples lives via their blogs.

But tonight, Grant ate all of his meat. HA - that is such a funny sentence to write. Seriously though, my hands were clapping in the air at the dinner table and we were cheering. When we started on this diet almost 2 years ago, we knew it would be tough but we were genuinely concerned about what he would eat. We were one of those "he'll never eat that" parents. But he has, and tonight, he did.

Early on, it was tiny, tiny pieces of chicken. He would gag. He would fight. He would cry. But, he didn't get any of the stuff he actually wanted (fruit, bread, etc) until he took some bites. Even with the tiniest of bites, he would gag. He just had no experience with that texture and he was really upset about having to eat it. Time, though, is an amazing ally. Night after night, he had to take bites. Gradually, he tried new types of meat and stopped gagging. Bigger and bigger bites, less and less struggle. Tonight, we had BBQ'd turkey burgers and he ate 1/2 of a burger - every single piece that was on his plate! Big bites, no problems.

I should mention that Grant doesn't have any motor issues with regards to food. It's purely a taste, texture, smell, sensation, experience - like it is for all of us, just more so.

It can be done. Don't give up if it seems impossible. Tiny bites with no options. Every time, be consistent and don't give in. You'll all be better off for it.

Confluence of families

We did it, and it was a complete success! As previously advertised, we held our first respite night for special needs family at our church on Friday night. The numbers (32 kids, 19 families, and over 60 volunteers!) are astounding to me, but the night... it wasn't so much a life-altering night, it was a life-defining night.

Rather than review the event and evening, allow me to share a few moments.

Our church was behind this event a million percent, and I can even begin to say how humbled I am by that. Financially, we were able to provide each parent/couple with a gift bag containing a $25 dinner gift card and a $10 ice cream gift card. Socially, we were able to provide each parent/couple with time off - 3 hours on their own w/ no kids. However, even more exciting to me was the joining together of our community - there were at least 4 other churches represented and...

Our very first arrival was a "walk-in" - they had not pre-registered and had only that day heard about the event from their OT, one of our volunteers. A dad, two older NT boys, and their daughter with CP. The dad was able to take the boys out to the movies for a boys' night out. The young lady enjoyed her evening with her buddies, an older couple who wheeled her around from event to event throughout the evening.

Our own Club members were some of the ones we were most concerned about from a behavior and escaping standpoint. All of them did incredibly well with their buddies, although I'm sure the adults might still be sleeping. :)

The surprise, and possibly MVP, of the night, was Joe. From a few weeks ago, mentioning "I'll be there if you need me" to becoming the impromptu MC ringleader last night. At first, he was hanging out by the inflatable Twister and there wasn't much going on there, I sensed that he was wondering if he should really be there. But soon, there were more and more kids around him. He found the microphone and soon kids were singing songs into the microphone. He heard a young baby crying and became super-Dad - after walking around and soothing the baby for about 10 minutes, he finally fell asleep peacefully on Joe's shoulder. Many people remarked to me afterwards that Joe was such an example of what the night meant to them - wow!

The buddies, as a whole, impressed me to no end. At no time was anybody frustrated, nobody complained, and we had no issues. It was just about loving the kids last night and I just kept looking around thinking 'if only this kind of love could spread infectiously throughout the community, day to day, hour to hour'.

We had kids with any number of "disabilities". We had their NT siblings ready for a good time in the gym. We had young volunteers. We had old volunteers. We had Christians and we had non-Christians. Last night, they all came together. There were no differences. Young played with old. Child played with child. There were no walls, there was no separation. There was only, for 3 hours on a Friday evening, love.

It's about time

Here in sunny California, maybe it just seems like it has been raining all year. Last week was no different. But it wasn't going to stop us.

Saturday, I had one goal - Owen was going to ride his bike on two wheels by the end of the weekend. We've been playing at it since Christmas when he got his new bike. I had thought he would be one of those kids who hopped on and took off - not to be. The funny thing is - it's not lack of skill or coordination and it's not lack of desire.

It's just Owen being stubborn. Saturday was a perfect example. I tried to get him all pumped up - just me and you Owen! you'll be a big boy on two wheels! this is our project! You know what he came back with? Dad, I just want to ride my scooter today.

I didn't give up though. I was watching the weather and I could tell we were going to have a window, maybe a couple of hours, and that would be it. I kept working him until I finally had him convinced it was his idea - then he was excited! We got out the door and onto his bike - the clouds were there and the window was closing. My little stubborn guy pulled every stunt, but I stayed patient (mostly) and worked at coming up with motivating ideas. He finally seemed to respond to '5 laps around the schoolyard and then 5 minutes on the playground'. Before long he didn't even know I had let go of the bar on the back of his bike, he did a full lap by himself and then he wanted to ride over to the park. He rode all the way over with me running behind him, and after the park, he rode all the way home. He did it! He's on two wheels by himself now - the only things left are mastering starting and stopping. It rained the rest of the weekend and we never got another chance to go out, but he did it!

Grant has been doing fantastic on his bike as well. I didn't take him out this weekend so that I could concentrate on Owen, but Grant has been riding on his own for past 4-5 weeks (with training wheels). I can run ahead of him, or behind him, and he no longer has that need for me to be right there next to him. He is focusing. He's keeping his feet moving. He's staying on the path. I am so excited by this - everytime I think about it, the tears well up in the corners of my eyes. He has come SO far and the progress these past several weeks gives me so much hope.

I was telling Cassidy that with Owen now riding on two wheels, I just might be able to get on my own bike again. Her jaw dropped when I told her it has been 6 years (years!) since I've been able to ride my bike with the kids. Between teaching Grant how to ride, and then most recently getting Owen going on 2 wheels, I've been running alongside a bike for a very, very long time now. The dream - going on a family bike ride - is within my sights. Even 4 months ago, this was still a pipe dream. But now, I know, by summer this is going to be reality. Reality is good, and it's about time.

Just here to help

(has it really been almost a month since my last post? inexcusable...)

First, let me invite everybody (well, everybody who will be in the Bay Area on Feb. 29) to our first Club Kangaroo respite event. All special needs kids and their siblings are invited - we will all be having fun while the parents get to go out on a Friday night all by themselves. Even if you can't come, please do forward this to anybody you know who can use it. It may be easier to just send them this link: http://www.bethel.org/ChildrensMinistries_ClubKangaroo.htm



Today was a great day in Club K - in the way that great days are often the hardest days. There have been many Sundays where we just have a few kids, or even just our own kids, and it's very easy. But even though we often have a good time on those days, we go home feeling like we really didn't do our job.

Today, we did our job.

We had a new boy today; we were all excited about it since his mom had prepared us 'for the worst'. He's on the spectrum and apparently has some of the same issues that our other boy members have - anger, violence, no patience, very little attention span, etc. His mom hung out in the class for the first hour, but we encouraged her to leave him in the 2nd hour. It took a while but she snuck out while he was occupied and he did great! We had 2 other boys with powder keg personalities, so it was 90 minutes that was harder on us than any normal work day. We've recently instituted a very scheduled approach to the class and it has been so helpful. The kids know what to expect and when things are going to change; not only that, but they know when a particular activity is going to end as well. We've been so much more productive this way and it makes it much easier on all of us as well. Cassidy and a few others did a puppet show on David and Goliath - little did they know I had prepared all of the kids with foam balls so when it was time to throw the rocks at Goliath, all of the kids threw the balls! Although there was a lot going on the entire time, everybody did really good and I am just so impressed with the team and with the kids.

Although we love playing with the kids, and it is just incredibly satisfying to see the progress they have made over time, it is even more exciting to see the parents (single, married, grandparents, and every combination you can think of) get a couple of hours of 'me time' to meet people, grow friendships, learn, and hopefully start the week fresh and rested. Hopefully we can do a little more of the same with our respite event.

Our little aardvark

I'm sitting in a Children's ministry meeting at church tonight when I get a call from Cassidy. It wasn't a great time to break away in the meeting so I let it go to voicemail. A few seconds later, I get a text message - call me Dad, it's Grant.

Uh-oh. I step out and my mind is racing as to what might have happened at home.

When I call home, instead of Cassidy's frightened voice, I can see her smile right through the phone. "Dad, you'll never guess what Grant did tonight!".

"Um, I hope it's a good thing?"

"Yeah. He kept asking us for something but we couldn't understand him. It sound like "aaa" but we couldn't tell. He got really frustrated, but then he came downstairs and got on the computer. He got on pbskids.org, clicked on Arthur and then spelled out "Arthur" on his Magna Doodle and brought it to me. He wanted the little Arthur play figure so he could put in his play house."

I think Cassidy could see my smile through the phone too. Now THAT is communication! Great job, Grant!

Psssssssssssst!

Don't tell anyone - this is just between you me.

We gave Grant cheese pizza last night. And he ate it.

You see, this is a big deal at our house. It's been well over a year that Grant has been on the eat-nothing-you-could-possibly-find-in-a-store-or-that-is-simple-to-make diet. Since the first few months, he's been positively fantastic about it, better than we could ever hope or expect him to be.

Previous to the diet, he didn't even eat pizza. He wasn't interested in it in the least. But, in the past few months he has wanted pizza when we had it at home. Even more recently, he's been saying "pizza" when we pass by pizza places. He even throws in a "yum yum" for good measure.

But last night we were all on the way home from Cassidy's basketball game when we passed by 2 pizza places and heard the familiar words from the back seat. We had just had that "it's too late to cook anything but what can we pick up that's somewhat healthy, not to mention, what will Grant eat" conversation. And then, in a knowing glance that only 16 years of marriage can make, we looked at each other as if to say "it's time". We're essentially done with standard chelation as it has stopped being effective at pulling out metals. He's still taking various supplements and we've stuck to the diet based on the allergy test results. After a year though, it's time for the double-blind study, the test and response.

And so, we stopped at the 3rd pizza place, our favorite - Sal's Pizza. Grant's response might as well have been that of Christmas morning, he jumped out of the car and ran to the door. Somehow he knew he wasn't going to be denied this time. He looked like one of those cartoons where the boy starts smelling something incredible and it lifts him off the ground and toward the prize. Once home, we were just as excited to see what he would do as he was to actually get to pull the pizza slice out of the box and put it on his plate.

He picked it up and bit in, savoring the bite like we savor the chocolate at La Fondue, eating with a slow passion like the first kiss after a long time apart. Grant continued to eat purposefully until it was all gone, including the crust. Our amazement in watching quickly broke, however, when Owen started to cry. "He can't eat that. It's going to hurt him!" Tears flowed as Grant's younger brother pleaded, "No, Grant, stop eating that!" We did our best to explain to Owen that it was OK and Grant was not going to be sick (we hoped). He took little solace and then turned his eyes up to us and said "I want Grant to talk like us." If ever a 5 year old showed love for his 8 year old brother this was it; we were witness to it and it was truly a memorable moment.

So now we wait and look for signs, changes, behaviors. We won't tell anyone, except you, so that we can get honest and unprovoked reports of positive or negative changes from his teachers and therapists. If there is nothing negative, we'll continue to introduce other items from the banned list, slowly and carefully. Out there, somewhere on the horizon, a boy finds popcorn, ice cream, and birthday cake and he smiles.

All burned up

Today was a rather wonderful day at church as we celebrated both its 60 year anniversary and the burning of the mortgage. In the morning service we heard from 4 former pastors and were exhorted to be prepared; there will be no 'taking it easy' now that the mortgage is retired. In the evening service, we saw 2 people who have been with the church the entire 60 years, several for 50+ and a good number at 40+. Staci and I have called Bethel home for over 20 years now.

As we burned the mortgage, I thought of the many people who sacrificed heavily to buy the current property and construct our 2 buildings. We are so fortunate to have such a great set of buildings to worship, serve, play, and eat. If not for those who had sacrificed before us, we would not be able to serve the community with sports leagues in the gym, to serve those with special needs in Club Kangaroo, to serve the youth with skateboard ramps.

With that in mind, the reception after the evening service was a great trip down memory lane. There were many people present whom I had not seen for a long time, some who I see but haven't had a chance to laugh with for a while, and some who reminded me yet again of what it means to be a great person and live a great life. Besides the things I mentioned earlier, another incredible thing about our church is the number of truly incredible people. I wish I could name them here, but there are a handful of people who have had a profound influence on my life, those who are true to their faith, true to their lives, and true to their community.

As I drove home, I pondered on those people and their effect on me. Rarely was it something they said specifically to me, instead it was me watching them afar, catching them in conversation, or seeing them deal with tough times. I wonder how life would be if everybody had such role models, if everyone looked for such role models, and how my life would have been different without them. What a great night to honor the past, celebrate the present, and ignite the future.

powerful curve

Sometimes the momentous moments take a few seconds to sink in. The kids were in the hot tub, enjoying the hot water and bubbles while I was semi-conscious in front of the football game.
"Daddy?" I heard from the door. Hmm, Owen must be wanting to get out. Ok, just a minute as I make the incredible effort to get up on my feet.
"Daddy?"
"Grant?" Wait a minute, that was Grant calling me? With the intonation of a call, a request, a question? Did I really hear it the right way or I was I just in a dream state? I hop up quickly and run to the door. There he is, standing at the door, looking up at me as if to say, "um, didn't you hear me. I would like a towel, please."
"Ok, Grant, I'll be right back. I'll go get some towels." He waited there at the door, his wet skin chilling in the late afternoon sun. I ran back down the stairs and wrapped him up in a towel.

A question mark, at the end of a word - just a silly little curve with a dot at the end. But when it comes out of Grant's mouth, it carries the weight of the future. Calling me, asking for me - could we really be on the cusp of hearing questions from Grant? Did he really put that lilt in his voice to ask a question? Only time will tell...

Notes from a Sunday

It's so easy, too easy, to get "caught up" in the world of Grant - the good, the bad, the unknown. Certainly that's what is expected of us, after all we are special needs parents and that is soooo hard, right? For that matter, we could spend all our spare time researching autism therapies, let alone practicing and implementing them. Even in my writing here, 95% of it is about him and the other 2 kids don't get their fair share.

Sunday was a great example of why we try not to live our lives that way.

Each Sunday, we get to experience Club Kangaroo - one of the most challenging and yet rewarding experiences of our lives. It is our great challenge to provide a place where these kids can come and feel safe, feel loved, have fun, and even learn a little. In addition, we're there to support the parents not only by being there for a couple of hours a week but to give them a little emotional boost as well. Some times, it's just a quiet, peaceful time. And other times, like this Sunday, it's like playing a game of Perfection. The clock is ticking and that box is ready to pop when you are least ready for it. All the while, we're trying to put the right piece in the right slot and when we put it in the wrong spot, the box is almost certainly going to pop up and scatter the pieces all over the place.

There are also times when the rewards are so obvious. For example, the grandfather of a boy in our class walked up to me before service and said, "Steve, I've got a reason to praise God."
"Why is that?" I asked, hoping to hear a good story about his grandson's week.
"Every time I see you, I praise God for you and what you are doing."

What an incredibly uplifting and encouraging thing to hear! I'm not one to remember quotes or famous movie lines, but those words will stick with me forever.

During service, we had a full house in the class. While it was quite exhausting, it was also a great time to reflect on how far each of the kids has come in a short period of time. Each one had a moment which could have resulted in a meltdown, an anger episode, loss of control - you name it. But each one was able to get past that moment, to take just enough control that they didn't lose it. Each one had awareness of the situation and held back before they went too far. At the same time, 3 of them journeyed with us to children's church on a bit of a field trip. Most of the kids have trouble dealing with the noise, the action, the unpredictability, etc. But, we're all slowly learning how to prepare for that time, and how to cut it short when it's clear that it's not going to last.

Those are just a few of the reasons why we try not to get caught up in the world of Grant but instead try to give more than we can take. We have learned so much by working with, playing with, and loving these kids. We are very, very fortunate to be involved in their lives.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! You didn't really think I was going to end a weekend post without some Grant stories did you? Here are just a few from the world of Grant -

-While he was playing in his room instead of getting dressed in the morning, Staci walked in and reminded him, "Grant, after church today we'll get fries. You need to get dressed if you want fries later." He immediately got dressed! His listening ability has come so far; it still shocks us.
-Grant took his longest bike ride ever and he did great! It was really the first time that we've had to ride for and extended period on a sidewalk and he didn't have any problem with it. He's continuing to ride without my hand on the bike - great stuff.
-As we were all getting in the car in the morning, he asked for "book". He had picked out a book the previous night at a school fundraiser, Good Night, Gorilla. He was able to communicate his desire before we left the house; that means no crying and screaming in the car. And he wanted a book!
-At the video store in the afternoon, it became pretty clear that he was going to need the bathroom pretty soon. Rather than just hop around in the potty dance, he used his words all on his own, "I want bathroom."

Hands Off

Saturday afternoon - another trip to the park. Going to the park means getting Grant on his bike. Getting Grant on his bike means another lesson in patience for me and another lesson in bike riding for him.

I can't believe it's been over a year since I first wrote about teaching Grant to ride. In that year, we have made incredibly little progress on his bike. At least we hadn't lost anymore of our progress, and for that I am thankful.

But Saturday, we did it. We made progress. I should say, Grant made progress because it's really all on his shoulders at this point. I've made my peace with knowing that it's just going to take a long time and it's got to come with his own desire and on his terms.

For well over a year now, he has insisted that I keep my hand on the bike while he's riding. If I took it off, he would either stop riding or start crying. So every so often I move my hand just off the handle bar so that he knows my hand is there but at the same time he knows I'm not touching it.

On Saturday, though, he let me take my hand off the bike. For almost the whole way to the park and then the whole way home, he was ok with me running along side of him. He let out a few squeals and reached for me a couple of times, but they were just half-hearted attempts. He was ok with it. I could see that he was comfortable on the bike for the first time in a long while.

Oh for the day when he can focus continuously on his riding so that he doesn't veer off the path, the day when I can ride along side of him, the day when we take the training wheels off again, the day when he truly realizes the freedom of riding his bike. Until then, we'll keep riding and learning, together.

Opening Day

Are you ready for some football?!? Ah, opening day - the cheering fans, the shouts from the cheerleaders, the referees' whistles blowing, the grass and mud all over the players. NFL? College? No, it's upward football and today was opening day. Cassidy is playing for the first time, and she's a stud. Unfortunately, there aren't enough girls to field multiple teams so we have to play 4 on 4 - maybe next year!

I love this action shot - the 2 girls on defense are about to pounce on Cassidy (with the ball). Look at her go!






This shot is from the last play of the game. Cassidy caught a pass in a crowd and then took off like a flash. Following this play, they lined up for a 2 pt conversion; she lined up at QB and threw a completion in the back of the end zone!

Who knows, maybe she'll be the Brandy Chastain of girls football and she'll be playing pro someday. :)

Pool School

So this is what post #100 feels like. This number has been preventing me from posting for several days; I wanted #100 to be cool, special, unique but I couldn't/wouldn't make the time for it. Yeesh - what a goof I am. I started this blog to write about Grant's progress so it is only fitting that #100 focus on Grant.

It's been roasting here for the past week - in the triple digits all of last week so we've practically been living in the pool. I never cease to be amazed at how 'at home' Grant is in the pool. When he is in the water, it's as if the world around him settles down and he can see and feel his environment in such a calming way.

The 'overload signs' are non-existent in the pool - the pressure clapping, the fingers behind his ears, the rote 'babbling' of lines from his favorite shows, the list goes on and on.

The 'calm signs' are a joy to behold - big smiles, eagerness for participating in pool activities together, feeling at ease around other kids, no hitting, laughter. I'm smiling just writing this list.

He often will ask me to go under water with him; it's almost like he's saying 'Come, see my world, Dad'. Under water, life is quiet - very quiet. Any sounds from up above are just muffled vibrations. There are no bright lights - indeed, even sight is muffled. While my 5 senses are being deprived, my proprioceptive sense chimes in with 'all is well' - my body feels wrapped tight with water and nothing is poking, prodding, tickling my skin. We look at each other and laugh before we shoot back to the top for some air.

If only we could bring some part of this into the rest of his daily life. If only he could tell us what is it in the 'outside' world that brings him agitation. Maybe it's time to bring the speech therapists and his teachers over each day and we'll have school in the pool!! Imagine the advancements he would make!

running in cycles

It seems that when I go a few too many days without a post it's because there's just a bit too much going on in life and I can't seem to force myself to whittle it all down to one (seemingly) coherent theme. The last few weeks have certainly been one of those periods but since I need to narrow it all down, the theme has to be 'back to school'.

This is definitely the first year, and probably the last, when all 3 kids were actually looking forward to school. Cassidy is starting Junior High (7th) and she was really looking forward to the new classes, the new teachers, the new school, etc. Grant really enjoys school now, although probably for the opposite reason - it is now very familiar to him. He's been at the same school for 5 (!) years now and he still has 3 to go (after this one). He's in the 3rd grade (SDC) and is showing more and more signs of actually wanting to learn. Owen started Kindergarten this year. What was previously "Cassidy's school" is now "Owen's school". He was also very excited about going to his new school; he feels like a "big boy".

Of course, this means that we have 3 different schools, 3 different start times, and 3 different end times. Whee. The toughest part is that Grant's class gets out 5 minutes before Owen's class, and there's no way Staci can pick up Grant and get over to Owen's school in 5 minutes. Fortunately, Grant's teacher is very understanding and she picks him up 5-10 minutes early. I still get to bring Grant to school which, while it has not always been easy, I have always enjoyed. Since I can't just drop him off in front of the school like NT kids, I get to walk him into class and hang out for a little bit. Over the years, this has been a great opportunity to build a rapport with his teachers and to have a quick exchange of ideas when there is a need to do so. It's too bad we can't do that with the other 2 - it really seems "right" to know the teachers so well and to know the other kids and their parents.

Owen's first day was a bit worrisome since he can have a bit of a frustration/anger issue at times. When he gets really frustrated he can "light it up" with the best of them. However, his morning started out great and he was all smiles walking in the room. When his teacher noticed he had the same lunch box as another boy, she started writing his name on the outside. In ink. Right -on-top-of-Spiderman. Uh-oh, big mistake. Owen was NOT happy about that. Evidently it took him a while to get out of that "mood" but he hung in there and finished strong. Today (the 2nd day) was much better.

Although Cassidy was looking forward to 7th grade, the big bummer was that none of her best friends were in ANY of her classes! Although she says that she hasn't really talked to any new people, I'm not buying it. She'd be complaining if that were really true. By far, the biggest change (and drawback) to 7th grade is the lack of recess and a shorter lunch period. Welcome to the real world, pal!

Finally, the last few days I have been desperate to glean information from each of them about their day. Well, I always ask Grant about his day even though I've never gotten any sort of answer. Maybe someday. But, Cassidy and Owen are more than capable of describing every minute of their day to me - what's the problem!? All I get is "it was good" or "nothing happened". C'mon, I work in an office all day, I need some stories about this other world you are living in kids! So, I've pretty much given up on asking and have resorted to other methods. I either ask stupid questions which require them to respond with a "real" explanation, or I tell them some story from my school days so that they will want to talk about their own. Any other ideas are MORE than welcome!

Ok, boring post is over. My next post is #100!

Linked up

Last year at this time I wrote about the 1st annual Tiana Foundation golf tournament. Guess what? The 2nd annual event was just as great! Saturday was a beautiful day and I got to spend it not only supporting a great charity, but I also got to spend several hours with good friends laughing as much as golfing.

The Tiana Foundation has grown quite a bit in the past year and they have been able to support quite a few families in their darkest hour. I'm glad to be able to support this work, but I'm even more proud to have the founders as friends and it's just been incredible to see them both grow through a very hard time into such highly respected people in our community.

In that same post last year, I wrote about our own tough times 5 years ago and about Grace who continues to inspire us all. Here she is playing in our pool a few weeks ago. She is learning how to walk now and is really starting to show a lot more interaction with those around her. We love to see her big smile every week in Club Kangaroo - you should see her light up when Mr. M comes into play harmonica for the kids each week! You may also recognize Grace from a pic last month in my post about our summer vacation - she and Owen have a true bond which never ceases to remind me how of how pure a friendship can be at times.

little stuff

Over the past week, Grant has shown a (spark) of interest in playing baseball. Well, maybe not "playing", more like hitting and thowing the ball. Well, maybe spark is a strong word because his interest lasts for about 2 minutes. But, hey, it's something! He'll go out in the garage and get the plastic bat and ball and present it to me to show me he wants to play (sometimes he will even say 'ball'). He holds the bat pretty well and will hit it if I throw the ball right at the bat. He then switches with me and throws the ball to my bat. Right now, he wants to do this from about 2 feet a way which makes the scene pretty funny looking. After about 2-3 throws/swings he completely loses interest and doesn't want to play anymore. We'll build on that though.

This morning, he groggily walked up to me after waking up (I was making our bed). I said 'Good Morning Grant'. He returned a "Guh morn" - wow! I don't think I've ever heard him respond to that before. Maybe he was so tired he didn't have his autism filter on yet. :)

two a day

Today was an exciting day for Club Kangaroo - two new kids today! We average 6-10 kids on any given Sunday, so two at once is a big deal. Actually, any kid is a big deal! :)

Fortunately, both kids really enjoyed their first Sunday with us. Both of the kids stayed in our self-contained classroom today, although eventually we'll try to transition them into their age-appropriate class with a 'buddy'. We continue to see more and more kids with severe behavioral issues - lashing out, anger, uncontrolled temper - along with an inability to handle "crowds" or "lots of noise". It's nice to know that for at least a couple of hours a week these kids have a safe place to hunker down and feel loved and secure. It's also very rewarding to see the look on the parent's faces when they come back to pick up their child and get a "good report" as well as a smile on their child's face.

After church, we had 3 families over for a BBQ/Pool day - 10 kids and 8 adults total. Everybody had a great time - yeah! It's so fun to watch my own kids in this type of environment; each is so unique and has so much to bring to the party. Cassidy generally tries to fit in with the boys - competitive and playful. A couple of month ago she got the hang of diving, and today she got everybody trying to do a backwards dive. She was just as good, if not better, than any of the boys! Grant did great - the pool is really his equalizer. Although he doesn't "play" the same way as the other kids, he loves to be there with them and he really enjoyed watching us catch the football while diving into the pool. In addition, he continues to amaze us with his persistence in using words. It reminds that we need to be even more persistent in prompting for words in 'every' situation - it has helped so much! Owen is so social - loud, friendly, involving. Although he's just 5, he tried to get involved in the football catch game with the older kids. When he couldn't catch it, he was so upset! He gets so frustrated and is so vocal about it, I can see that will be one of our major parenting challenges over the next few years.

Nothing but kids all day long - what a great day!