Confluence of families

We did it, and it was a complete success! As previously advertised, we held our first respite night for special needs family at our church on Friday night. The numbers (32 kids, 19 families, and over 60 volunteers!) are astounding to me, but the night... it wasn't so much a life-altering night, it was a life-defining night.

Rather than review the event and evening, allow me to share a few moments.

Our church was behind this event a million percent, and I can even begin to say how humbled I am by that. Financially, we were able to provide each parent/couple with a gift bag containing a $25 dinner gift card and a $10 ice cream gift card. Socially, we were able to provide each parent/couple with time off - 3 hours on their own w/ no kids. However, even more exciting to me was the joining together of our community - there were at least 4 other churches represented and...

Our very first arrival was a "walk-in" - they had not pre-registered and had only that day heard about the event from their OT, one of our volunteers. A dad, two older NT boys, and their daughter with CP. The dad was able to take the boys out to the movies for a boys' night out. The young lady enjoyed her evening with her buddies, an older couple who wheeled her around from event to event throughout the evening.

Our own Club members were some of the ones we were most concerned about from a behavior and escaping standpoint. All of them did incredibly well with their buddies, although I'm sure the adults might still be sleeping. :)

The surprise, and possibly MVP, of the night, was Joe. From a few weeks ago, mentioning "I'll be there if you need me" to becoming the impromptu MC ringleader last night. At first, he was hanging out by the inflatable Twister and there wasn't much going on there, I sensed that he was wondering if he should really be there. But soon, there were more and more kids around him. He found the microphone and soon kids were singing songs into the microphone. He heard a young baby crying and became super-Dad - after walking around and soothing the baby for about 10 minutes, he finally fell asleep peacefully on Joe's shoulder. Many people remarked to me afterwards that Joe was such an example of what the night meant to them - wow!

The buddies, as a whole, impressed me to no end. At no time was anybody frustrated, nobody complained, and we had no issues. It was just about loving the kids last night and I just kept looking around thinking 'if only this kind of love could spread infectiously throughout the community, day to day, hour to hour'.

We had kids with any number of "disabilities". We had their NT siblings ready for a good time in the gym. We had young volunteers. We had old volunteers. We had Christians and we had non-Christians. Last night, they all came together. There were no differences. Young played with old. Child played with child. There were no walls, there was no separation. There was only, for 3 hours on a Friday evening, love.

Just here to help

(has it really been almost a month since my last post? inexcusable...)

First, let me invite everybody (well, everybody who will be in the Bay Area on Feb. 29) to our first Club Kangaroo respite event. All special needs kids and their siblings are invited - we will all be having fun while the parents get to go out on a Friday night all by themselves. Even if you can't come, please do forward this to anybody you know who can use it. It may be easier to just send them this link: http://www.bethel.org/ChildrensMinistries_ClubKangaroo.htm



Today was a great day in Club K - in the way that great days are often the hardest days. There have been many Sundays where we just have a few kids, or even just our own kids, and it's very easy. But even though we often have a good time on those days, we go home feeling like we really didn't do our job.

Today, we did our job.

We had a new boy today; we were all excited about it since his mom had prepared us 'for the worst'. He's on the spectrum and apparently has some of the same issues that our other boy members have - anger, violence, no patience, very little attention span, etc. His mom hung out in the class for the first hour, but we encouraged her to leave him in the 2nd hour. It took a while but she snuck out while he was occupied and he did great! We had 2 other boys with powder keg personalities, so it was 90 minutes that was harder on us than any normal work day. We've recently instituted a very scheduled approach to the class and it has been so helpful. The kids know what to expect and when things are going to change; not only that, but they know when a particular activity is going to end as well. We've been so much more productive this way and it makes it much easier on all of us as well. Cassidy and a few others did a puppet show on David and Goliath - little did they know I had prepared all of the kids with foam balls so when it was time to throw the rocks at Goliath, all of the kids threw the balls! Although there was a lot going on the entire time, everybody did really good and I am just so impressed with the team and with the kids.

Although we love playing with the kids, and it is just incredibly satisfying to see the progress they have made over time, it is even more exciting to see the parents (single, married, grandparents, and every combination you can think of) get a couple of hours of 'me time' to meet people, grow friendships, learn, and hopefully start the week fresh and rested. Hopefully we can do a little more of the same with our respite event.

Green Pastures

We have worked for almost 2 years with a ministry named "Green Pastures"; they have been instrumental in helping us get Club Kangaroo off the ground and with bringing local churches together for this relevant reason. They have recently published a video online which shows how they work with churches to provide respite care for families on a regular basis. You should be able to download it from their home page, but here is a direct link to the Windows file and Quicktime file in case you can't (note that are large downloads, about 30MB).

Although I think you will enjoy watching the video, I really just want you to know what a great resource Green Pastures is for a church or any organization. Even if you are not here in the Bay area, and most of you reading this are not, they will still be very glad to work with you to help set up or organize respite events or church programs. Even if they can't physically do the work themselves, they will help get you in touch with the right people. Even if this doesn't float your boat, please send the links to someone whom you think will benefit from it. Whatever we can do to support the children, and in turn their families, is a great thing.

All burned up

Today was a rather wonderful day at church as we celebrated both its 60 year anniversary and the burning of the mortgage. In the morning service we heard from 4 former pastors and were exhorted to be prepared; there will be no 'taking it easy' now that the mortgage is retired. In the evening service, we saw 2 people who have been with the church the entire 60 years, several for 50+ and a good number at 40+. Staci and I have called Bethel home for over 20 years now.

As we burned the mortgage, I thought of the many people who sacrificed heavily to buy the current property and construct our 2 buildings. We are so fortunate to have such a great set of buildings to worship, serve, play, and eat. If not for those who had sacrificed before us, we would not be able to serve the community with sports leagues in the gym, to serve those with special needs in Club Kangaroo, to serve the youth with skateboard ramps.

With that in mind, the reception after the evening service was a great trip down memory lane. There were many people present whom I had not seen for a long time, some who I see but haven't had a chance to laugh with for a while, and some who reminded me yet again of what it means to be a great person and live a great life. Besides the things I mentioned earlier, another incredible thing about our church is the number of truly incredible people. I wish I could name them here, but there are a handful of people who have had a profound influence on my life, those who are true to their faith, true to their lives, and true to their community.

As I drove home, I pondered on those people and their effect on me. Rarely was it something they said specifically to me, instead it was me watching them afar, catching them in conversation, or seeing them deal with tough times. I wonder how life would be if everybody had such role models, if everyone looked for such role models, and how my life would have been different without them. What a great night to honor the past, celebrate the present, and ignite the future.

We get by with a little help for our friends

Club Kangaroo continues to roll along, with each Sunday bringing new teaching and learning experiences for all of us. It is so uplifting and satisfying to watch our younger helpers (5/6th grade) take on the responsibility of assisting kids with special needs. As the weeks go by, the confidence grows in each of these helpers as does their love for "their" kids. However, it only starts there. The club kids themselves, especially those on the spectrum, have all shown "improvement" in the classrooms and in their interactions with their buddies. The parents are more at ease because they can go into service and not worry about their child; further, when they pick up their child, they aren't hearing the "negative". Of course there are tough times, but when we step back and look at it as a whole, it is so exciting!

So, since things are going well, it's time to take the next big step - it's time for outreach. We could come up with 100 excuses, but it's time to actively invite the community around our church to enjoy the benefits of Club Kangaroo. We've already seen parents come who had previously not gone to church because they didn't believe there was a place for their child. How wonderful it would be to meet more families like this and really give them a place of respite each week.

Speaking of respite, we work with Green Pastures who brings churches in the area together who are serving those with disabilities/special needs. We had a great meeting last night in which several churches shared how their ministries are growing, how the kids are doing, how the helpers doing, and so on. And of course, we all shared our ever-present need for more volunteers. We also heard from Joni and Friends about their family summer camps; if you need to get away with the whole family, check it out!

Green Pastures hosts a respite event each month at a local church - here are the next few:
March 10, 1-5, at First Baptist in San Mateo

April 14 at Grace Lutheran in Palo Alto

May 5 at Saratoga Federated in Saratoga

June 2 at Los Altos United Methodist

If you live in the South Bay and would like an afternoon of respite, please feel free to email me, or contact Green Pastures to reserve a spot.

Also, if you are in the South Bay and would like to go to church - your child is welcome! Please feel free to come to Bethel Church in San Jose. Here are some of the other churches in the area with similar ministries (that we know about):
Great Exchange Covenant Church (Santa Clara, CA)
Saratoga Federated (Saratoga, CA)
Crosswinds Church (Dublin, CA)
Calvary Church (Los Gatos, CA)
Abundant Life Christian Fellowship (Mountain View, CA)

The Tiana Foundation

Today, I was fortunate enough to play in a fundraising golf tournament for The Tiana Foundation. It was an absolutely perfect day for golf at Summit Pointe course in Milpitas, CA. I'm really not much of a golfer; I play maybe 4-5 times a year and usually just for special events. The game is just too expensive for me, and I'm no good, but hey that's not what I'm writing about today.

The Tiana Foundation was started by two very good friends of ours after they lost their baby to a heart defect just hours after she (Tiana) was born. The heart defect was not known about prior to the birth, and her death was an incredible shock to all of us. After a painful period of grieving, they found a new calling in helping others who have gone through such a horrible time. Through this foundation, they help parents with counseling and with financial needs such as purchasing grave markers. They are truly inspiring to all of us who know them and we have seen them transformed by this experience.

If you ever find yourself in this situation, or know of somebody whose young child has died, please contact Jason & Rhonda at http://www.tianafund.org/ . Their work is done mostly in California, but they are able to help people throughout the U.S.

Thinking back to that time 4 years ago - wow, what a time. There were four ladies in a very close goup of friends who were pregnant, all due within about 3 months of each other. If I remember right, Tiana was the oldest. The next two, Gabrielle and our youngest, Owen, were born healthy. The 4th, Grace, continues to be an inspiration to all of us as well. About 3-4 months before birth, it became apparent that she had some severe problems and she was not expected to live more than a few hours after birth. One of the diagnosis is Dandy Walker Syndrome, something I had never heard of before that time. Grace's parents are also two of the most incredible people we know. Grace has fought through many early sicknesses, infections, surgeries, etc. but she is living a great life now at 4 years old. She's an amazing little girl and it's so awesome to see her grow and learn as she conquers all expectations.

It was also just over 4 years ago now that Grant was diagnosed with autism, and that deserves a few of its own posts, that's for sure. Within a 1 month period, we sold our first house, bought our current house (it was a stretch, as they say), experienced my employer going bankrupt, learned of Grant's autism diagnosis, and our 3rd child, Owen, was born. When we look back at that period of time, we know that we got through it together and that if times seem bleak now, it doesn't even compare to that time.

Special Needs Ministries - resources

Here are a few links to organizations or ministries devoted to the creation or care of special needs ministries.

• Joni and Friends
• Key Ministry - equipping churches
• Access Ministry at Mclean Bible Church
• Assemblies of God
• Sycamore Tree Ministries
• Anabaptist Disabilities Network
• Christian Church Foundation for the Handicapped
• Affordable background checks for your ministry workers
• Lutheran Disability Ministries

That is, of course, a very small list and just a few of the sites I've found very useful.
If you are looking to start a ministry, or grow your ministry, I'd start with the 1st 3 links. Joni and Friends and Key Ministry are awesome sources of info. Access Ministry is an incredible ministry in Virginia; if you can get to the yearly conference, go!!

Do you have others? Please let me know!

Are you involved with a special needs ministry at your church?