Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Can't do it

I tried, I really did. I've listened, I've thought. But McCain's response to this outrageous Bush/Paulson proposal has just illuminated what I was trying to ignore. I can't vote for McCain/Palin - as much as I want to. As much as I am deathly afraid of Obama becoming president.

There is only one respectable choice for president - Ron Paul. He will be my vote on November 4, regardless of his chances to win. He is the only candidate who has the right course charted for our country and the only one who will receive, with conscience, my vote.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Oh me of little faith

"I can't wait till Grant's 11th birthday", Owen told Staci while on the way to pick Grant up from school.

Staci pondered where he was going with that statement, wondering if he just forgot how old Grant was, or... "11th birthday?"

"Yeah, his 11th birthday is going to be so great. He's going to start talking on his 11th birthday. That's what I prayed to God and Jesus for. I want Grant to be able to talk just like us. He's going to talk like us on his 11th birthday."

And just like that, Owen let us know just how aware he is of Grant's autism and how much he loves his brother. And just like that, he reminded us to remember our dreams - don't give up Mommy and Daddy!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

inches from tragedy

What might have happened - a thousand possibilities flood my mind. What might have happened... but it didn't. And tragedy, utter tragedy, was narrowly averted.

It was a morning like all the others, a school day like every other school day. The same schedule, the same routine. Get the kids breakfast, make the kids lunch, get myself ready, brush the kids hair, brush their teeth, get their shoes on, get them out the door. She takes Owen, I take Grant. So far so good.

At this point every day, I open the garage door and Grant goes to get the newspaper. While I back the car out, he gets the paper and then gets in the car. But today, I went to back the car out and felt a

THUMP

"oh God what was that!!!!" I could only think that the car was on top of him so I snapped it back in drive and sped forward. I didn't feel another thump on the way back. I flew out of the car only to hear him screaming and laying on the ground. Somehow, for some reason, he had sat on the driveway, his body hidden from my view but his legs stretched just far enough to be run over.

He was screaming and grabbing his leg - again a thousand thoughts flooded through me. Thank God he is alive! Please let his leg be OK! I felt along his leg and didn't feel an obvious break. I picked him and the leg didn't hang at an odd angle. A quick inspection showed I got just one of his legs and it wasn't bleeding but it was definitely roughed up.

I held him close, trying to take some of the pain and shock away. Of course he could tell me nothing. What happened? Why were you there? Where does it hurt? Can you feel your toes? Nothing, no answers - what madness this autism can be at times like this! I got him to put a little weight on his leg to see if he could walk - he had a heavy limp but it looked like he could put all of his weight on it. Whew! Ok, what next - gotta call Staci! Do we rush to the emergency room? What's the right thing to do?

I called Staci who was fortunately just down the street after dropping off Owen. She was back in seconds and held her composure amazingly well. Both of us were a bit frantic yet calm and we decided to call the pediatrician. The answering service paged him and he agreed to meet us right away. Unfortunately, their office had just moved and they are now about 30 minutes away! By now, Grant was becoming quite lethargic and was shivering. Staci covered him with a blanket and took off for the doctor.

The doc did not feel any major problems but said we needed an x-ray. Grant, get an x-ray? and in this condition? But, thankfully, he was amazingly calm in the x-ray room and didn't make a peep or move at all. The x-ray was negative - no breaks or fractures!!

A couple of feet either way and I might have killed him. I could have run over his belly, or his head, or crushed his foot or knee. But the tire went right over the calf area and caused only skin abrasions. I can't begin to imagine what could have been - life without Grant. For all the hardship, he brings a light into our lives that is unmatched in its brilliance. The love that we communicate with hugs, kisses, and eye contact can often say more than a million words.

And we still have him here with us, if only by the grace of God.

Tomorrow, and every day after that, we will be thankful. And the new rule for pulling the car out is - don't drive until you can see the whites of their eyes.