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Tis the season
No, not THAT season. THIS family loves THAT season.
No, it's IEP season. We have IEP #6 coming up next month and today was the first round of prep work with the school. We have a meeting about a month beforehand with his teacher (we had that meeting today), at least one of the paras, speech, OT, etc. We go over last year's IEP, review status, and we discuss the goals for this coming year. More often than not, we're on the same page and given that it's been awhile since we've needed additional services, there is little to no conflict.
Over the next month, we'll refine the goals and procedures so when it comes time for the actual IEP, it's just a matter of signing forms. Sounds good, right? So why then do I feel like I got hit by a truck when I walked out of today's meeting?
This meeting is the one time during the year when I'm forced to acknowledge "everything". The other 364 days of the year we can work with him, play with him, celebrate the positive, and try to solve the problems. But reviewing the IEP goals, it hits home how slow the progress is coming. How long the road is going to be. How life is going to be. Surely he learned how to add numbers since last year, right? Surely, he can say the name of everyone in the classroom, right? No, he met a few goals, but most of the goals will continue in a similar form.
3rd grade will lead to 4th grade will lead to 5th grade and we will still be working on a subset of the skills required for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. We'll still be trying to teach him how to talk to other kids, why that might be useful for him. I'll still be teaching him how to ride a bike, how to catch a ball, and how to pump his legs on a swing.
This is what hits me when I walk out of that meeting, feeling like an elephant is sitting on my chest. The life we live, not the life as we dream it, is going to be very, very hard for Grant. It's going to be harder for him than all of us put together.
Tomorrow, I'll wake up and the weight will be lifted. It will be time to make breakfast, time to bring laughter, time to create opportunities. But today, oh today, it hurts.
4 comments:
Oh, wow. I've used that "elephant on the chest" image so many times - I know exactly the feeling you describe - and I'm always startled by how physical a sensation emotional pain can be.
You know, one problem with the balcony/roof person metaphor is that the view from up there is really long. Maybe we optimists belong in the tower: a nice, self-enclosed space where the view is more manageable.
Oh, I am so sorry. I totally understand the feeling. But I think that working your bottom off 364 days of the year entitles you to 1 day to reflect and be a little melancholy! Sure we'd appreciate not having the annual reminder but I suppose it is necessary to keep our goals moving forward. ???
I just don't understand why our kids have to have these obstacles! But I do know that they are some of the most amazing little fighters. They have to work so hard to do what is so easy for others and I have to tell myself that this hard work is making my son a stronger person.
Still...I understand the elephant's weight. I wish I could take it away for you!
"Seasoned" Advocate for 25 years -U.S. Wide -Rose Moore states: First of all it is best to have the IEP meeting with ALL people that are going to work with your child, not just one teacher, so that they can ALL give input on what needs to be done and how ALL persons can "web" their information together for your child.
Their are timelines for everything your child needs plus "status reports" from professionals, and others. Ask for a weekly progress report and keep abreast of your child's progress or regression. Stay on top of them all the time. You can call an IEP meeting anytime you want - you do not have to wait a full year.
Start a Support Group with people like yourself who have "The Elephant on their chest". Compare and work out solutions. I am more than willing to help you all - Free.
Rose Moore - Disabilities Advocate and the Talk Show Host of The Rose Moore Show - The "Voice" for Special Needs Kids on www.alltalkradio.net www.therosemooreshow@hotmail.com. 1-866-361-2343 Yoll Free
It really was just the one day of melancholy. I'm well on my to the next 363 days of eternal optimism. :)
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