Love Thursday - the boys

Amazing how a light can shine in the darkest of times...

May, 2002 - far and away the most difficult period in our lives. A whirlwind of circumstances, the likes of which we had never seen before, and hope to never see again.

The one which matters here though is that Grant had just been diagnosed with autism a few weeks prior to Owen's birth. At that time, Grant was completely in his own world; you had to be right in his face to get him to even respond.

But here, Grant is holding Owen, his newborn brother - is that a look of love on his face? A look of caring? Certainly, on my face, it's a look of hope.

See more Love Thursday at Chookaloonks.

The pool has walls now...

Quick update on the pool - they sprayed the gunite to form the floor and walls yesterday. It really looks like a pool now!

Here are some pics from when they finished the rebar last week, and the rest of the pictures from yesterday.

Last week
Yesterday

Everyday, Owen asks "Is it swimming day today?"

Previous Posts: Day 1, Day 2

Honor Star

Cassidy was crowned an Honor Star on Saturday in Rocklin, CA and we are so incredibly proud of her accomplishment. Stars is the 3-5th grade girls club in the Assemblies of God Missionettes program. It's a great club and has been quite an experience for Cassidy in many ways. I think summer camp each year would be her favorite memory.

Becoming an Honor Star requires attaining a series of badges, much like Girl Scouts, reading the entire New Testament, memorizing about 20 verses, and reciting the Stars motto. It was a lot of work and near the end we weren't quite sure if she was going to pull it off. She wanted it though, and here we are.

The ceremony required a 2 hour practice in the morning so that we could all figure out the process of daddies escorting their daughters down the aisle, moms crowning their daughters, and a few other odds and ends. I admit to being a little negative about the long day prior to Saturday (sorry!), but it was really a great experience. Sixty 6th graders - all on the cusp of leaving childhood and entering (scary!) teendom. As I sat there behind all of these girls, it struck me how they had worked so hard, had so much fun, learned so much, come from such a variety of backgrounds, and attained the same goal. I'm so excited to imagine the great things these young women will do in our future.

Finally, the day brought me realization that our little girl is growing up. The "little girl" days have been slipping away for some time, but it won't be long and they'll be gone for good. I need to make every moment count, remember whatever I can, and teach her by example. There will come a time when I'm not "the voice" in her life, a time when she listens to others for their wisdom, a time when she seeks life's answers on her own. I know it's coming, but of course I don't know when. However, when it does, I want her to be prepared, to have a strong foundation, to make those decisions from a place of strength, and to truly know that she is loved.

Love Thursday - let him eat cake!

Good 'ol Love Thursday is back, thanks to Chookooloonks.

This is Owen on his 1st birthday - think he loved his cake? What a great day that was - lots of family, food, and fun.

Isn't there something just magical about 1st birthdays? We've used all our 1st birthdays up now and we're on to bigger numbers now. But, we still get to enjoy the 1st birthdays of friends and families children - welcome to the world of cake, candles, ice cream and presents!

Dance Fever

Some moments stand out, the moments you will never forget, the moments in which life changes. Tonight we had one of those moments.

Grant danced.

Grant doesn't like music. He doesn't mind music in the car, but he generally has no interest (and is usually quite averse) in being personally involved with music. Not only does he not want to play music and not want you to sing to him, he also certainly does not dance!

We had family over for our nephew's birthday, just hanging out watching the Steelers game. I wish so much we would have had a camera, especially the video camera, but it was so shocking and so funny none of us could move. Out of the blue, Grant stood in the middle of the room and started dancing, trying to move his arms and legs to some inner tune. The motion was somewhere between a marionette and Elaine's dance on Seinfeld.

As if the dancing wasn't shock enough, he was fully aware that we were all watching him, and he seemed to like it! He was looking at each of us while he was dancing, a big smile on his face showing us that he was enjoying this as much as we were.

Tonight, Grant danced.
What's next - talking? friendships? Peace in the middle east?

Leaking Metal

Although the progress on the pool today was exciting, it didn't compare to the news we got about Grant today. Today was our Dr's appt. to review the results from the 1st round of chelation. The results were very, very encouraging.

The original test results back in July reported high, although not extreme, levels of mercury, very high levels of lead, and high levels of tin and aluminum in his body. The results of the first round of chelation showed that these very same elements are now leaving his body! The results exhibit these encouraging signs:

• Grant has had no adverse reactions to the chelation treatment.
• Grant's body is not "blocking" the metals from leaving his body.
• We will not need to try/research further methods of chelation (whew!)
• Any hoped-for results will be seen in the next few months.

The process now continues for the next 3 months with a twice-weekly application of DMSA (cream). Assuming there is no negative reaction, we will run a full battery of tests after the 3 months to see if metals are still leaving in large doses. From there, who knows!?

Day 2 - can't we just fill it now?

Today was day 2 of THE POOL - wow! The yard has now been completely broken up and graded, with all of the concrete and landscaping taken away. Even better, the shape of the pool is in place and it is dug out to its full depth of 6.5 ft.

Progress will start to slow down from here on out. Over the next few days, they will be building the structure of the pool to prepare for the gunite (concrete).

Here are all of Day 2's pics.

Autism and Google

Google always has something new to play with, but the news archive search may prove to be the most addicting. The news archives go back to the early 1800s! Although it's cool seeing some of those old news sources, the character recognition leaves a lot to be desired; I think my old Commodore 64 did a better job than a lot of these...

I started playing around with searches and then it hit me - when did autism start showing up in the news? The first understandable source I can find is the Frederick, Maryland News from 1949. According to the paper, "welfare state" and "autism" are now banned from press releases and speeches prepared by the Republican National Committee. Crazy! All you democrats should have a field day with that one! :)

The first description of autism I find is in the Salisbury Times (Maryland) from 1957. Although unrelated, I had to laugh at drug houses conservatively estimate that last year Americans took out 35 million prescriptions for happiness pills. Times haven't changed a bit! As for autism, the mention is only because the article is talking about the publishing of a Psychiatric Glossary, and of course autism starts with A...

The first real article shows up in 1960 in The Valley News from Van Nuys, CA. A good description is given, but the cause is listed as refrigerator moms. It is also described as wooden doll illness.

Articles grow very slowly until the early '80s and then they grow exponentially. There are approximately 2700 in the '80s, 12000 in the '90s, and then over 9000 in 2006 alone.

I'd love to hear about interesting articles from the past if you find one. Happy searching!

Finally - it's time to start!

Back in May, we somehow decided that we could put a pool in the backyard. The kids LOVE to swim, and we do too. Grant, especially, belongs in the water. Swimming is probably his favorite activity and he has pretty much taught himself to swim. This summer, he started diving down to pick up diving rings! It's so wonderful so see how comfortable he is in the water - everything makes sense to him there.

After a summer of bids and decisions, waiting, more waiting, and EVEN MORE waiting, today was the day! The team came to destroy our current backyard and prepare it for the big hole.

Of course, today was 95 degrees so it made the idea of a pool that much more exciting. By the time the pool is ready, it'll be in the 60s for the rest of the year, but we'll be swimming any way! Here are the pics of today's destruction.

The gap

Grant lost his first "front tooth" on Monday. A few years back, we thought for sure he would freak when his first tooth became loose. Boy, were we wrong. He wants it out, and he doesn't mind wiggling it. This time was no exception, he worked on it for about two days, and now he's got a natural straw holder.

Isn't it funny how a missing tooth is so cute for about 5 years of your life, but after those 5 years it's shame and costly trips to the dentist?

Milestones

I can't believe this is the 3rd week of school already. Mornings are still crazy; we should have it figured out by Memorial day... Cassidy starts school at 7:40, Grant at 7:50 and then I drop Owen off at preschool after that. Does anybody else's school start that early? And here I am reading blogs at 12:30 am. I wonder if that's why it's so hard to wake up in the morning?

The beginning of the school year and beginning the process of chelation have had me thinking about how Grant has grown in all areas since he was 3. Here are some of the major areas that have made such a difference in his/our lives.

• Saying yes/no - I think this came late in his 4th year and I still think it is the single biggest hurdle he's leaped. Prior to this, it was nearly impossible to find out what he needed or what he wanted. What a marvelous experience it was to see (at first his response was in sign language) and then hear a response when we asked him a question or gave him a choice. I believe this skill also quickly allowed other communication skills to flourish as he figured out he could get what he wanted with so much less effort than before.
  
• Unprompted words - For so, so long all of Grant's words were prompted. Although he was beginning to put the sounds together in forms that we could just begin to understand, it was so much work to prompt him. Unprompted words, when they appear, are like finding a $20 bill on the ground - totally unexpected, exciting, and gone in the wink of an eye. He says all of our names now, although saying 'Cassidy' is the most impressive (it's his only 3 syllable word). He has said 'home' to us when we're out somewhere and he's very tired. And, of course, 'Bathroom'.
  
• Putting on a helmet - If Grant is going to ride his bike, he has to wear a helmet. Well, I kept telling myself that anyway. We tried to get his helmet on for 3 years. A couple of times, it got on but it was short lived. For about 18 months, a great friend of ours had us come over and work with Grant while riding a pony. I'll have to post about that experience another time, but of course that required a helmet as well. Yeah right.
  And then, one magic day late last year, he just put it on, buckled the chin strap, and we were off. Oh how I wish he could explain what happened that day and why it is no longer a problem, but it isn't and that's all that counts!
  
• Toilet Training - We are so fortunate that Grant is now fully potty trained and never really had that fascination with poop that so many other kids have. But, oh, those years of training. I truly doubted whether he would ever get it. Time after time, I would clean up the mess. Time after time, we would bring him to the potty. And then, he started picking the toilet icon all by himself. And then he just started going by himself. And then he started cleaning up after himself. And now he washes his hands when he's done. And it never ceases to amaze me.
  
• Dressing himself - How do you teach him that the tag goes in the back? To snap? To zip? To match colors? He picked up these skills pretty quickly, actually. His OT was awesome in getting his fingers to button, zip, and snap. He found the skill interesting and picked it up. I love being able to say "Get Dressed" while we are downstairs and he goes upstairs, picks out some clothes, and get dressed.
  
• Eye Contact - When this all started, Grant was completely unresponsive. I'd get right in his face and there would be no response (this was around 2.5 years). The ability to make eye contact is of course very hard for so many of our kids, and the "teaching" of eye contact varies widely. ABA is "look at me" 5000 times a day. RDI is getting him to find interest in your face so that he seeks eye contact. I definitely lean towards more the RDI approach, but more than anything, I think it's just been time and maturation which has brought him forward in this area.
  Tonight, Grant and I had a very tough time when he needed to take his supplements. After about 20 minutes, I sent him (sternly) to his room. He was upset and of course I was frustrated as well. A few minutes later, I went up to his room to try and explain the concept to him (again). As he sat in his bed, playing with a few character toys, he looked right at me with his eyes wide open, easily making contact for 7-10 seconds at a time. I talked to him, he looked at me. I talked some more, and then he leaned forward and gave me a hug. He looks at me to gather information, not because I tell him to. I think he's curious. I think he's puzzled. I think he's the most amazing kid.
  

I'm stunned when I look at this list. He has worked so hard, and he wants so hard to understand and to be understood. We will continue to work as hard on the new skills as we have on these, we'll continue to celebrate the victories, and the future will bring what it brings.

Youthful tears

Tales from a Saturday morning...

Owen, our 4 year old, comes down the stairs holding his ever-present Barney the purple dinosaur. With that amazing youthful attribute of being fully awake about 2 seconds after opening his eyes in the morning, he looks at me with his eyes stretched as big as possible. "Daddy!", he says breathlessly, "Do you know what day it is!?"

I ponder for a moment, trying to guess what "the day" is. Usually it's something like "green day" or "foggy day", whatever strikes his fancy as he gets out of bad. "Purple day" is my answer.

The wide open eyes quickly shut as tears begin to fall. The excited voice quickly muffles. "Daddy", sadness quickly escalating into despair, "you mean today isn't my birthday? It's not my birthday!?" Sobs fall uncontrollably as Barney dangles from his hand.

"No, it's not your birthday today"... I walk over, pick him up, and try to hug the sadness out. I can only guess that he must have been dreaming about his birthday (he's got another 8 months to go) and walked downstairs fully expecting it to be true. Within seconds, the tears are gone, the sadness forgotten, and we're off to an exciting Saturday.