#10

Last week, I had tears on my pillow when I thought about today. Grant's 10th birthday - a cause for great celebration to be sure, but also a time for reflection. It doesn't take much thinking to bring on the emotions and so I try my best not too. After many years of rabid research, IEP trainings, and ongoing therapies, the last year or so has been a nearly conscious avoidance of such things. A little less knowledge, a little less hope, but a lot more acceptance.

So, back to #10. Nothing like throwing a party for your 10 yr old to face the fact that your 10 yr old has no friends, at least not in the same way we all have friends. At the same time, there is nothing like throwing a party for your 10 yr old to realize how incredibly blessed he is to have so many friends and family who love him to no end. But then when those incredible people ask 'what does he want' and you can't come up with more than a couple of things that would bring a smile to his face - well you just can't avoid the unavoidable.

But I'm really not a pessimistic, wishy-washy autism dad. My tears are only found on my pillow. My job is to be strong and lead the way for my family. And one of the true joys in my life is to see joy in Grant's life.

Today, #10, was a great joy in Grant's life.

Staci did a fantastic job planning the party. Where do you go, and how do you know he will like it? Her great idea was the local inflatable jump house place - a big room with cool inflatables. Who do you invite? His class - 10 great kids, but they don't really talk to each other. Our friends and their kids, and our family. Who knew how that would all come together, but Staci knew it would be great, and it was!

What a wonderful thing to see smiles and laughter from every kid, autistic and neurotypical. Playing together, playing alone. No uneasiness, no worry about how to act, just playing, just laughing, just friends. As he opened his presents, with the NT kids talking and the autistic kids looking around, he was grinning from ear to ear as he opened a few things he liked and threw the clothes boxes over his shoulder. And the cake... after years of not being able to eat 'real' cake, we splurged and let him eat real cake today. He savored every bite and will enjoy watching the video of it many times over.

Grant turned 10 today. He enjoyed every moment. He smiled. He laughed. Others enjoyed their time with him.

Tonight, there will be tears on my pillow, and they will be tears of joy.