Breaking it down

It's the smallest of decisions - when do you push it, when do you let it go.

For example, when getting Grant to eat, when do you really take on the battle and make him eat something that is good for him but that he REALLY doesn't want to eat? When do you let it go because he might have a complete revulsion to the smell, texture, or taste of the food?

When there is downtime at the house, when do you push it and get him involved, get him in a learning situation, get him in a social situation when he REALLY fights back? When do you let it go because he just needs some time alone.

When it's time for haircuts, how hard to you push it when he REALLY hates haircuts? When do you let it go?

When it's time to ride his bike to the park, how hard do you push him to learn the skills need to ride on his own? When do you let it go and let him guide the way?

These types of decisions are made every day, often many times during the day. The truth is that we never really know the answers. For the past 5+ years, I've been going the PUSH route with Grant on his bike. For a short time, it seemed to be working; he was riding about 30 yards on 2 wheels, all on his own. He seemed to like it. For whatever reason, that didn't last long.

The past few months, I've reversed my tactics. I think I mentioned in some post that I put the training wheels back on his bike. As we ride along, he insists that my hand is on the handlebar at all times. We continue to focus on his pedaling, getting him to fully realize that he needs to keep his feet moving to get to the park. At the same time, he needs to look ahead. While looking ahead, he needs to keep the handlebar aimed in the same direction he's looking. If he looks to the side or to the back, he can't turn the handlebars that way. When we get to the small bridge over the creek, he has to push harder to get up the small incline. When he comes down the bridge, he can't turn too fast or he'll crash. Whew - I'm so glad riding a bike is so simple!

And so, I'll continue to hold his handlebar as he rides along. One day, he will pedal consistently and convincingly the entire way to the park. Following that, he'll get control over the handlebars. He might one day feel so in-tune with his body that he'll take off down the road leaving my hand at my side. That day may come, and it may not. If it doesn't, I'm going to get really good at running along the side of a bike.

If that day does come, I'll have one less decision to make.