Sunday, July 29, 2007

two a day

Today was an exciting day for Club Kangaroo - two new kids today! We average 6-10 kids on any given Sunday, so two at once is a big deal. Actually, any kid is a big deal! :)

Fortunately, both kids really enjoyed their first Sunday with us. Both of the kids stayed in our self-contained classroom today, although eventually we'll try to transition them into their age-appropriate class with a 'buddy'. We continue to see more and more kids with severe behavioral issues - lashing out, anger, uncontrolled temper - along with an inability to handle "crowds" or "lots of noise". It's nice to know that for at least a couple of hours a week these kids have a safe place to hunker down and feel loved and secure. It's also very rewarding to see the look on the parent's faces when they come back to pick up their child and get a "good report" as well as a smile on their child's face.

After church, we had 3 families over for a BBQ/Pool day - 10 kids and 8 adults total. Everybody had a great time - yeah! It's so fun to watch my own kids in this type of environment; each is so unique and has so much to bring to the party. Cassidy generally tries to fit in with the boys - competitive and playful. A couple of month ago she got the hang of diving, and today she got everybody trying to do a backwards dive. She was just as good, if not better, than any of the boys! Grant did great - the pool is really his equalizer. Although he doesn't "play" the same way as the other kids, he loves to be there with them and he really enjoyed watching us catch the football while diving into the pool. In addition, he continues to amaze us with his persistence in using words. It reminds that we need to be even more persistent in prompting for words in 'every' situation - it has helped so much! Owen is so social - loud, friendly, involving. Although he's just 5, he tried to get involved in the football catch game with the older kids. When he couldn't catch it, he was so upset! He gets so frustrated and is so vocal about it, I can see that will be one of our major parenting challenges over the next few years.

Nothing but kids all day long - what a great day!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Not just the houses

"It's expensive to live here in the Bay Area" - we hear that over and over, ad nauseum. Clearly the housing prices are out of sight, but we're used to that. When we were looking at moving to Raleigh a little over a year ago, comparable houses were a little less than half of what they cost here, and in many cases they were closer to a third of the price.

But, tonight, the cost of living here hit me like never before.

We've got a new pizza place here in town - Sal's Pizza. We hadn't been there yet (we eat pizza 3-4 times a month, it's usually a staple on Friday nights) so I did a quick Google search to get the phone number and a menu. They didn't have the menu online for our new store, but it turns out they have several on the East coast so I checked out their menu. Hey - $9.99 for a large cheese pizza! Very nice! A few minutes later I noticed that they also have a new store in a nearby town, but the cheese pizza is $15.99!

Six Dollars!!!

The pizza is 37% more expensive here than it is on the East coast. Same pizza, same store, 6 bucks more.

Ouch - now I know it IS more expensive to live here!


PS - the pizza was really good! It definitely made it's way into our regular rotation.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Hanging Ten

AutismVox, MomNOS, One March Day...all writing great posts about 10 ways in which they are similar to their children. I've been pondering this for a few hours now; for some reason all I can come up with are ways Grant and I are different. So, I'm going to cheat a bit and list 10 ways I'm similar to each of my kids.

1. Cassidy and I love to sleep in; it's really more than that though. We don't do mornings. Rolling out of bed is probably the hardest thing we do all day. We're generally a bit grumpy for the first 20-30 minutes of the day. Nobody enjoys trying to wake us up in the morning.

2. Grant and I love to swim. Actually, our whole family loves to swim, but I think Grant and I enjoy it the most. Grant looks like he is at peace when he's in the water; there is no stimming, no agitation, no concern. Swimming is a huge release for me; if I'm bottling anything up, it just leaks right out of my pores when I get in the pool. It's impossible to be upset when we are in the pool.

3. Owen and I love to make people laugh. He's the comedian in the family; he can find humor in just about anything and is continually finding new ways to express it. I'm more of the one-liner, dry humor kind of guy, but we both enjoy getting the laugh.

4. Cassidy and I love reading. Similar to Grant's sense of peace in the pool, reading feels that way for me. Watching Cassidy branch out in her reading reminds me so much of myself at that age - read anything and everything all the time!

5. Grant and I love In-N-Out Burger. Ok, this is an entire 'family' love. One of the few things Grant is able to eat 'out' is their fries and he devours them. We eat there just about every Sunday on the way home from church - double double animal style for me, grilled cheese w/ onions for Staci, plain grilled cheese for Cassidy and Owen and fries for all (2 for Grant). MMMMMM :)

6. Owen and I can fall asleep anywhere. Two of my more infamous locations are on the kitchen floor while fixing a dishwasher (Staci woke me up in the morning and I still had the screwdriver in my hand) and sitting at the kitchen island with my forehead on the granite (this was just last week!).

7. Cassidy, Grant, Owen and I love to play video games. For Grant, it's an activity which puts him on a near-level playing field with his siblings. We play together, we play alone, but we all get great enjoyment from it. The Atari 2600 is one of my favorite childhood memories - will the Wii be the same for my kids?

8. Cassidy and I enjoy playing with kids. For whatever reason, we seem to be more comfortable with kids than with people our own age. I've been working in children's ministry for years now, and Cassidy is following right along. She is also assisting a couple of times a week at Grant's speech therapist's office - she's a natural!

9. Grant and I love coffee. I love the taste and the way it clears my fog in the morning. Grant can't drink it, but he is fascinated by how the coffee pot works and he's become quite the little coffee server on Saturday mornings.

10. Owen and I are "the different kids" from our families. I was the middle son but completely different from my two brothers. Owen is the youngest, but his personality is so completely different from Cassidy and Grant's. I'm more 'low key' than my brothers, while Owen is much more animated, 'type A', and fearless than his siblings.

Let me know if you write up your own list of 10!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

summer nights

It's been awhile since I've written about Grant riding his bike, it's just been so long since we made any progress. We've had the training wheels back on since October and he's refused to ride without my hand on the bike. But tonight, on a walk/ride to the park with the family, I finally got my hand off the bike. He seemed interested in riding tonight so I really pushed it with him. He kept trying to put my hand on, but I kept moving it about 6 inches off and he kept riding even when he wasn't happy about it. Ah, the tiniest of steps forward, but after all this time, it seems huge.

Aside from the bike, there were several things Grant did tonight which struck me with hope, right between the eyes. It wasn't that long ago that he absolutely refused to wear a helmet. Of course, when he wasn't that interested in the bike to begin with, there wasn't much benefit (to him) to wear the helmet. Then, one day, it was as if God touched him and he just put it on, as if it were never an issue before - and it has never been an issue since. Every time I see him put it on though, I remember how far he's come, and I'll never forget it.

At the park, he did 5 bars on the monkey bars all by himself! I've seen him hang on the bars before, and I've helped him across many times, but tonight he made 5 bars all by himself.

In general, he just plays so well at the park now. Climbing, jumping, sliding, swinging, running - he looks so 'comfortable'. It was just a few short years ago that the park was a major struggle. He didn't want to sit on the swing. He was very unsure walking across the platforms and would often just sit and it wouldn't be long before crying and screaming ensued. A few years and many, many trips to the park later, you would never know he ever had any issues with the park.

To top it off, this evening was a beautiful summer night here in the South Bay - clear, still, warm, and best of all, memorable.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Just the facts

It finally happened. What, you ask? After a year of blogging, I got tagged for a meme, thanks to Jerry over at My Autistic Boy and Other Adventures in Fatherhood. Without further ado...

The rules:
1. Let others know who tagged you.
2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

  • I've never worn sunglasses. I've tried them on a few times in the past and they just seem really, really uncomfortable and... dark? Why would anybody want it darker outside when it's nice and sunny?
  • I've never been drunk. I'm always amazed that this seems to be most people's favorite thing to do, or at least it seems that way. There are a ton of reasons for my lack of experience in this area. 1) I'm cheap. Drinks are expensive. I go about 220 so it would take a lot of drinks to get me drunk and that would cost too much. 2) I've had several relatives with serious drinking problems; I've seen what destruction this can cause and I want no part of it in my life. 3) I don't feel the need to 'escape'. I have a great time with friends just being ourselves, no need to fake it.
  • My one talent in life is the siren. Ok, this isn't exactly news if you've been reading here for awhile, but I can't really list 8 facts about myself w/o talking about the siren. Last Friday, I let a few loose outside of the Angels game - the reactions are so funny!
  • We are currently not communicating with my parents. I haven't mentioned this here in my blog; I tend to focus on the positive if I can. The story goes back 18 years to the start of Staci's and my relationship; one of these days I'll write about it. Suffice it to say that the last "episode" so clearly layed bare my mom's true feelings that it just was not healthy for my own wife and kids to have a relationship with her right now.
  • Today is our 16th wedding anniversary! We had the absolute best dinner at Il Fornaio tonight to celebrate - I love you, Staci!
  • When it comes to music, I listen to a little of everything but the majority of it is country. Back in the 16-23 year old time frame, I was much more into heavy rock/metal. At some point, it hit me that it really affected the way I thought during the day and how I saw the world. I still enjoy a little Led Zeppelin from time to time, but I try to mostly listen to music that makes me a more enjoyable person to be around.
  • I love watching movies, but I never remember anything about them; I barely can remember which movies I've seen before. A couple of my good friends are the type that can remember every single movie they've seen and then start quoting lines from a movie they saw years ago. How do they do that!? Another thing about movies I will confess here is that I actually enjoy chick-flicks (did I just say that?). I'm a total sucker for a feel-good movie or a love story.
  • I was an English major in college, with a concentration in Career Writing. I thought for sure that I would write, or read - somehow, somewhere - for a living. Somehow I took a detour into the software world and never looked back. I love what I do, but someday...
Now it's my turn to do the tagging - again, my first time. I'll try to pick 8 who have not already posted this meme in their blog:

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Home

We arrived home earlier this evening after a great week-long vacation down on the Southern California coast. It really was a memorable vacation, the kind we will remember fondly for many reasons. Best of all, our good friends (I will call them 'the Funnies' since you can't spend 5 minutes w/ them w/o laughing!) were able to come with us and we all enjoyed the sights and times together. They also have 3 kids, pretty similar in ages to our own. I wrote about Grace briefly, almost a year ago now.

I'll fill in the details over the next few days, but the vacation was all about relaxing, fun, and family time. We spent quite a bit of time at the beach and the pool, two very full days at Disneyland and California Adventure, and we took in a California Angels game on Friday night. Here are a few pics...

Owen and Grace are best buds; they have a bond like no other. Here they are on the patio enjoying the weather while Owen gets a chuckle out of Grace wearing his hat.








We've got a ton of pics from Disneyland, but I think this one is my early favorite. This is the new submarine ride featuring Finding Nemo. I thought for sure Grant would not go down into the submarine, but he did! He was absolutely mesmerized the whole ride; this was one of only a few rides that he wanted to go back and do again.



It's funny because Grant was easily the least excited one of us to be there, but both of my pictures here are of him. I think I'm trying to convince myself that he actually enjoyed it. :)

This is a really cool "redwood park" in California Adventure - ropes, caves, slides, all kinds of cool stuff. I think this was probably his favorite time during the entire 2 days there - he was literally running up and down these rope bridges. I took a ton of pictures trying to capture the smile on his face, but this one seems to capture it best.




Down at the beach, the Funny boys and Cassidy spent a lot of time boogie boarding. Although it's a bit blurry, this was the best action shot I could come up with.







I spent most of my time on the beach with Owen and Grant. While I was trying to snap some pics of the boogie boarders, Owen went off by himself to dig around in the sand. I had to keep looking for him because he became almost completely camouflaged.







Here we are at the Angels game on Friday night. Grant and Grace didn't come (Julie Funny and Staci took them to Cheesecake Factory and they got a table right by the window to see the sunset during dinner, nice!) since they really would not have enjoyed it, so it was the 5 boys and Cassidy.

This was not only Owen's first baseball game, but it was my first trip to a park outside of our local teams' (Giants and A's) parks. Owen became the life of the party around the 5th inning; Zack and Cassidy are cracking up as he screams "Let's Go Angels!". If you look really close, you can see the cotton candy fuzz all over his mouth.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Blessings

I've had this article on global autism on my mind for some months now.

How do you begin to make a difference?

Tonight, we watched "Blood Diamond".

How do you begin to make a difference?

Our world is so vast, and so troubled. I serve. I give. I love. I hurt. But, when kids are dying because they can't communicate... when kids are killing because humans can't communicate... I wonder, how do you begin to make a difference?

These kids - hurting, suffering, dying - could just as well be my kids. Each one was certainly two people's child at one point. It's really up to each of us to use every ounce of our abilities to serve, locally, nationally, or globally.

Part of making a difference, I think, is knowing who you are, what you stand for, and where you come from. Please indulge me... as I thank God for this life I live.

I was born to two loving parents; they've stuck with their marriage through the good and bad times and they've certainly had both. They sacrificed and sent me to private school when they felt it was the best option for me. My in-laws are wonderful people and have been nothing but an encouragement to me from day one.

School came easy. I worked at it, but it came easy. I never had to struggle to learn something new.

Jobs came easy. I've never been out of work for more than a month. My mother-in-law landed me my first job in software, a friend got me in the door for the first "big" software job, and it's been onward and upward ever since. I have had the pleasure of working with wonderful people. I have never had a job where I didn't like the people I worked with. I have nothing but good things to say about every single boss I've ever had.

We live at "home". We feel safe. We have no gates to keep the intruders out and "safety" is far down on the list of worries. We have our own pool where we get to play and refresh ourselves anytime we want.

I've never felt in danger for my life. I've never been ridiculed for my skin color, my religion, or my appearance.

My wife loves me (right!?). After nearly 16 years, we are as committed as we have ever been. We've never had a day where we seriously considered ending our marriage. We're on the same page when it comes to faith, marriage, parenting, and family; while there are plenty of things where we're not on the same page, we've been able to get through those things together.

We have 3 amazing kids. I've bragged about them here for almost a year now. Each is a unique and essential part of our family.

We've been blessed with good teachers. We are able to work through IEPs, for the most part, with the school district. Grant's teachers have worked with us as we've tried various therapies and diets.

We've had the same church home for over 20 years now. Through our hard times, they've supported us. The church has given us ample opportunity to serve God. When we had the dream to start up Club Kangaroo, the church was behind us 100% and we've never heard a single negative thing about it from anybody.

Wow, we are blessed. Incredibly blessed. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of hard issues and conflicts that we deal with all the time, but how can I even list such things in the face of the overwhelming list above? Any issue we have pales in comparison to wasting away in an institution, to starving, to killing, to dying. I know where I come from. I know who I am. I am thankful and grateful to God, my family, and my friends for this life that I lead.

To whom much is given, much is expected. Please don't ever let me forget there are kids in my town, in my area, in my state, in my country, in my world who are in dire need of help. Please don't allow me to squander my blessings; push me to make every effort -

to make a difference.